When God Speaks

"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."  Proverbs 2:  1-5

I feel compelled to share my Bible reading time last night through this blog.  I always pray before reading my Bible.  I ask for understanding, wisdom (for understanding is no good without wisdom), and an open heart and mind to hear what God's Spirit is about to impart on me.  I believe that anytime I read my Bible that God has something to say to me either in the moment or for the near future.  He tells us that His word does not return void.  Last night I realized that lately I have been asking God to help me with things I (emphasis on "I") wanted to change or fix with myself.  I decided maybe I needed to see what God wanted to work on with me instead of showing Him my list of things I wanted to fix in me.  So, I added to my prayer that God would share with me what He wanted to work on with me in my walk with Him.  After praying, I opened my Bible to Matthew 13 (The Parable of the Soils) and began reading.  As I was reading about Jesus telling this parable about the different soils that the seeds of the sower fell upon and what they did and did not produce, I began to "hear" this voice that was telling me that God was trying to tell me that I was a horrible Christian.  That I was not making a difference in my walk with Him.  That I wasn't doing anything I should be doing and my Christian walk was like the seeds that feel on the road and the birds ate them.  I was devastated.  I felt horrible.  I felt useless.  I then realized that while God convicts us of sin, He does so in love and mercy. He convicts me often but never does He tell me I am horrible, useless, an awful follower nor does He leave me feeling devastated.  I knew the "voice" I was hearing was not God's voice.  It was satan's.  However, I just could not understand what God was trying to say to me b/c satan was just slamming me with these horrible, negative thoughts.  Before I went to sleep, I asked God to please help me understand what He was trying to tell me b/c I just did not believe He was telling me I was a worthless Christian.  I just laid there in the quiet and into my head popped the new part of my prayer that I added--God please show me what YOU would have me work on with YOU.  It was God reminding me what I had asked Him to show me.  Suddenly, I realized God was telling me that He wanted me to work on growing even deeper roots in my faith.  He needs my roots deeper and stronger.  That is what I am to work on with Him.  He was answering my prayer!!

Tonight after Bible study, I shared my story with Alberta (Yes, the fabulous Mrs. Stewart) and "Miss" Susie.  They gave me some really good things to think about.  First, Susie made the comment that we don't "expect" satan to show up while we are reading God's word.  However, while we don't expect him to be there, it certainly doesn't mean that he won't appear.  Then Alberta reminded me that satan used God's word and twisted it to tempt Christ.  Isn't that what he was doing to me last night?  Satan didn't want me to hear whatever God had to tell me.  He kept slamming me with lies, twisting God's word to deceive and throw me off course.  He was doing a good job of it for a while there.  I am just so thankful that I have been convicted by God enough in the past to know that God never makes us feel useless and unlovable.   God convicts through love and mercy and grace.  Yes, He can bring you to your knees, but He loves us enough to always, always, always, always help us up so that we can move forward.  Thanks be to God that He doesn't leave us where we are and that He faithfully delivers us from the paws of the evil one as He promises He will.

Anyway, I just felt the need to share my run-in with satan last night and how God truly delivers us from evil.  God promises:  "My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."  Proverbs 2:  1-5