Lately, I've been having a really hard time at work. Trying to get work done and constantly being interrupted. Frustrations with knowing what my students need yet having to follow district mandates. Doubting that I'm making any headway or difference with my students on any level. It has just felt like this black cloud of doom and despair has been hanging over my head and I can't get out from under it.
I've said it before and I truly believe it--teaching is a calling from God. It is such a demanding job in so many ways that one could not possibly be successful at it without being empowered by God. So why is this black cloud of doom and despair following me? For one, I believe it is satan. He just loves to meddle and destroy people, doesn't he? He loves to plant those seeds of doubt and despair. He brings the clouds of doom. However, we do have a way out from under that cloud and from the lies being fed to us--God! The lies become real and the cloud grows darker when we take our eyes off the only One that can defeat the evil. So, today I put my lesson plans aside and decided to focus on my Bible study I've been doing on Gideon. What would the next homework for the week be entitled "Gideon's Gifts"? I really focused on the verses above. In those verses, the Angel of the Lord appears to Gideon. Gideon said to Him, "If now I have found favor in Your sight, then show me a sign that it is You who speak with me. Please do not depart from here, until I come back to You, and bring out my offering and lay it before You." And He said, "I will remain until you return." ~Judges 6:17-18 So Gideon goes and prepares his offering. The part that struck me was what Gideon was asked to do with his "gift" when he returned and presented it to the Lord. First, Gideon had to PREPARE his gift. Then he PRESENTED his gift to God. God told him to PUT IT DOWN on the rocks and POUR OUT the broth. WOW! Maybe, just maybe God is asking me to do that with my teaching. Maybe, just maybe, I've been trying to force all the end results of my gift. Could it be that God is telling me to do my job by preparing myself daily for my job? Just DO/PREPARE what He has called me to do. Go to class every day and teach my kids. Give my gift to God--teach His children. Put it down before Him and pour it out and watch what HE plans to DO with it. Has my problem been that I have been placing a demand on God to use my gift in a certain way? Maybe God has a better use of my gift other than the way I am imagining. The Angel asked Gideon to release/put down/pour out the very thing Gideon put so much effort into. And what did God do with it? He turned Gideon's "tasty meal" into much more--it became a sacrifice to God.
So, where do I go from here? I think I have my answer: I'm going to prepare to teach my students everyday. I'm going to go to work each day and remember the work I do is God's work He has chosen for me. I'm going to present my gift of teaching He has entrusted me with to Him through prayer each day. I'm going to put it down and pour it out and let God do what He wants to do with me each day in my classroom. I'm going to forget the way I think the Lord should use my gift. I'm going to watch Him use it in ways I can't even imagine. What are you going to do with your gifts? :)
I added this picture from a few Sundays ago because I had on my glasses and I think I look "teachery" in this picture.
And these are a few of God's children that He has entrusted me with each day.
Our gifts: Prepare it. Present it. Put it down. Pour it out. Then watch God pick it up and use it in ways that we can not imagine.
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